I have seen so many people I went to high school with who married their high school sweetheart because he/she joined the military. From my experience in the US navy, I would say that there is definitely a place for women in the military. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you think it might and before you know it your spouse is talking to you about wanting to join the military. also some of my friends say I shouldn't join … Or massages my back when I'm having a bad ache. Our family’s motto was that, after so many deployments, forced time apart due to my husband’s military training and education, and separations for innumerable TDYs (temporary duty), we’d spent enough time involuntarily separated without adding to the time apart by choice. Never miss a thing with GirlsAskGuys notifications on your browser. This is not my choice. also some of my friends say I shouldn't join because woman get raped there. Why Does My Boyfriend Not Want Me To Join The Army? If you’re looking out for what’s best for you, don’t join the military. Unfortunately, so many of them are now already ended because they could not handle the distance that came along with it sometimes. If I were to spend 20 years of my life supporting my husband’s career, sacrificing my own, what should I do for the next 27? I moved two hours away and he moved in with me. My husband signed the line the week we started dating. However, life is funny sometimes and you can end up doing things you never thought you would. There is no "danger" just danger! Why does he want them to see my boobs? I choose to love him every day, despite my sacrifices. You married a military man, and part of that marriage is supporting your spouse and his career. Fuck that, do what you want. He used to have friends (they were all fake, talked bad about him behind his back, were rac-ist, said slurs to be funny, etc.) He’s cut off all his friends and family. I would also not hold any joint bank accounts or joint credit cards, or buy any property together, unless an accountant reviews his information for the last 8 years and tells you it's OK. 3. Now I have a question – My EX Husband is active army, we have been divorced for 3 years and our decree states that he is responsible to pay his truck that is joint in my name as I am responsible to pay mine that was joint in his name. This is not my choice. I feel very passionate about the military and serving my country, but he doesn't. While the military as an institution … Or vacuums up the dog hair so I don't have to. My husband has been in for over 30 years now and I’ve seen major changes take place. I would be concerned for you if j was him. It’s either him or the service, which one you choose is none of our concern, only you can choose. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m loud, messy, and a little crazy, or that I consider wine a fruit. My boyfriend, “Ted,” is joining the military this year. When we were stationed in East Africa (Kagnew Station, Eritrea), we had … what do you think? If he makes an ultimatum follow what you’ve wanted to for a long time. Hi everyone, need some advice as driving myself crazy. This is why I’m SO passionate about showing you how to use your resources to save money, make money, and overcome the challenges of military life. He is concerned for you and it is nice to see he cares. Maybe instead, he lets me have the cinnamon roll with the most icing on it first. It’s just not in your best interest. … I was in the army and loved it. I’m starting to realize how depressed he is. Democratic lawmakers led by Rep. Jimmy Panetta of California, the son of former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, have written a letter demanding President Biden order the military … What’s this girls problem with me? He got a new job making … We’ve been married almost a year and since we got married til now my husband hasn’t opened an joint account so I have no money,he doesn’t give me any money so basically I’m sol. I’ve been in a military relationship now for just shy of a year, with a lot of it being over distance. I feel very passionate about the military and serving my country, but he doesn't. Why does he want me in his life as a friend? Our priority was to keep our little family unit together when we could. The military was (and still is) his dream, he had wanted to join since he was a kid. I’m 22 and I’m married to someone in the Air Force. Cut me a break! I am currently going through a separation with my military husband. The dilemma I have is that my ex/husband wants to try again and is adamant he doesn’t want a divorce, however, he has/had a girlfriend. Are you a military spouse trying to save money? I realized that assisting him doesn’t make me worthless. I have been with my partner for 6 years and we have a little boy who is 4 months old. Keep your head up ladies, the only way you can suck at being a milspouse is if you let it dictate who you are. can they do well like guys? Wordpress Theme by Hello Yay! In the almost 4 years that Taylor and I had known each other, he had only mentioned his desire to join the military a couple of times. Most of those discussions were tied to his high school days, and his desire to enlist when he graduated. He wants to join an elite group at some point, and he Author has 606 answers and 368.6K answer views. I asked him why, and he said because I can't do everything he does (not in a mean way though) and he's somewhat right I guess, because I'm 5'1 and don't look real mean. Make the most of it! In the country I live in men have to go to the army and woman have a choice between national service and the military (or other stuff if they're religious). If your military spouse doesn’t participate, it is noticed. Your boyfriend probably sees first hand how things are and knows only to well what he is talking about. I'm basically just asking what are others opinions on the matter? My husband’s career does not define me – it does not dictate whom I befriend or make me want to compete with others. He is most likely afraid that army life would be tough on you and you would lose some of your femininity, gentleness, and innocence ( not a sexual thing but innocence in where killing can be involved ) There are still more men in the army than women and it is still much a mans job despite changes in employment rights. Yes, he doesn’t have control over you. If you are like me, this wasn’t apart of the plan when you married your husband. It makes me more valuable to him than everyone in that office. He says the army isn't the place for woman. Learn more about me (and why I do this), This error message is only visible to WordPress admins, https://www.facebook.com/http://foxtrotandpennies, 12 Free Products and Services Every Military Family Should Know About, Gifts for Deployed Loved Ones | Gift Ideas for Military Families, The Best Way to PCS Proof Your Career in 3 Easy Steps. If your parent treats your spouse horrible, is that really a loving parent? I know being a military wife is not harder than your job, but it’s still pretty fricking hard! A joint return lists all the couple's income and deductions on one tax return. Maybe he genuinely wants to protect you and wants you to play the "feminine gf" role. They are not about you, they are about him and being military. I have since traded in my car to get it completely out of his name, yet was never more than 2-3 days late on any payments for the life of the loan. He claims she’s just a FWB and their relationship has always been primarily about sex, but she reached out to me several times and has told me he is the love of her life. However it is your choice to make, and most army's tend to keep women off of the front lines. Such things aren’t military, but they can help you learn to be social. He cut them all off because he said he wants to be better than that and doesn’t want to surround himself with those types of people. If an average person works 47 years in their lifespan, a military member doesn’t even work half of their life within a service organization. If you had time machine, what would you do with it? I want to go to the army, and I already have appointments scheduled for different tests. Why does my boyfriend pull my shirt down around his friends? Partner wants to join army but I don't want the military life... 16 answers / Last post: 7/11/2017 at 9:49 AM. The army can change you and obviously your boyfriend is concerned for this and doesn't want to lose the girl he loves. Why does she hate me for no reason? It doesn’t mean you should ever give up being who you are or going for your dreams, but it is a choice to live this life. do woman belong in the army? He wasn’t about to give that up for one little moment of our lives (okay maybe it was a big moment) but still, it was nothing I couldn’t handle. Katie M(1254) 7/10/2017 at 9:57 AM . Without your ex-husband's support, your son can contact the local ID card office or contact the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, or DEERS. My husband came home from work and said he wanted a divorce. You don’t have to go to Coach parties. I don’t want good men like my brother — or lost boys like me — to enter the military without warning about what it could do to them. I'm stuck whether I support him even though I don't want him to or allow him to listen to me. Here's the thing, my boy friend lives in another country (where I was born) and he decided to join the army-he didn't have to. I have the important role of supporting my husband in a way no one else will. I asked him why, and he said because I can't do everything he does (not in a mean way though) and he's somewhat right I guess, because I'm 5'1 and don't look real mean. The military is culturally progressive when it comes to marriage. Your boyfriends concern probably stems from the facts that the IDF is less restrictive when it comes to assigning women to dangerous roles, and the fact that Israel is one of the few countries in this world that could literally find itself fighting for its very existence on very short notice. Married spouses always have the choice of filing jointly or separately. I totally get it, I we were one of the  620,000 military families that struggle just to buy food! 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