I’m Lauren Tamm, and I’m passionate about helping parents, teachers, caregivers and military spouses discover simple tools that minimize stress, create peace and build connection. So, you think you're a true ARMY. What does success look like?...10 years after college graduation, Day 7: The Day People Stared and I didn't Care, Ask first and be kind: Some guidelines for talking about neurodiversity, Our 1st Autism diagnosis: What I didn't share in 2015, Benji's Story: Pokemon is saving my Sunday. We are in Okinawa. Adventure is out there. Contact your local USCIS office or call the USCIS Military Help Line at 1-877 CIS-4MIL (1-877-247-4645) to request this service. Please give me some hope and advice. Hang around for a bit and join the fun! It was hard when you first get out .. all the places you get to go and all the wonderful people you along the way. I hate moving. Honestly, I have no clue what to expect with military life and I wonder if I’m really, really cut out for it. Congratulations and welcome to the military family! Good luck - you're gonna NEED it! Happy holidays, Lauren. The child’s parents are dual-military parents. What about you? Share your story below! Heck, I still find it overwhelming. No PDA! General contents, 2. I’m not spontaneous or free-spirited. Skeptical. His generation saved the worldscism. Also this is not true. I became a mom before any of my friends were even married. I was scared. You’re insane, girl. But I loved grad school so, so much, and I found my confidence in the middle of that two-year whirlwind. But I was determined and I kept moving forward. Welcome to my kitchen! I don’t really see myself as an adventurous person but I’ve certainly had some unusual experiences (twins, anyone?) Do you consider yourself adventurous? My family has lived in the same area for over 4o years. Long before meeting my Marine Corps husband I had gypsy feet from my childhood spent with a father who, after growing up … Thanks so much for all your wonderful articles! It’s a great opportunity to live overseas, but you have countless amenities to make you feel the comforts of home too. I know I will need something to cling to when my husband is gone. I have been reading every article I can get my hands on! I had never seen a military town or base before in my life. It is important to stick together to help navigate this whole new life! I don’t want this to break us. I’m not spontaneous or free-spirited. From deployments to power of attorney to basic rights and resources of spouses, I was clearly clueless. Blacksmith In High School, 3x a week!! Share one brave thing you’ve done (or WANT to do) this year! https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com/10-things-i-loved-about-being-a-military-doctor I’m so scared of what it’ll do to us. Get a clue. If you are new military wife, I completely relate to what you are going through. 84 likes. I hate being off-schedule. One of my most vivid military memories is flying down to the east coast where he lived to see his home for the first time. We have an amazing group of friends out here in Japan and we will be celebrating Christmas with them this year. Seek out mentors. Adventure is out there! I am an Army Wife who loves to bake. – Marie Pierce. I keep telling myself. I know it’s gonna be helpful when we get married in August. Here they share their 21 … I hate being off-schedule. I’m worried about my kids, my husband, my marriage, myself. Are you a military spouse? We spent several years long distance before finally moving to the same city together. I hate feeling unsettled. Learn the ranks and call them by that rank. It’s crazy that my husband is joining the Air Force at age 33, that we’re moving from the only home we’ve ever known as a family, that I’m uprooting my Autistic son from familiarity. How do military wives shoulder the enormous responsibility and inevitable sacrifices that come with being a military wife? Learning all the ranks is beneficial, but I think many spouses, especially new spouses find learning ALL the ranks overwhelming. That’s why I’ve created this special community, where you can get military spouse resources and advice from a military spouse whose been there. Need a jumpstart on summer routines & chores with kids? Hmmm. I chose to go to college 1,100 miles away from home. Learning the ins and outs of military life takes time, and even the most seasoned military spouses still feel lost at times. "The type of work soldiers deal with tend to attract partners that have similar attractions to duty, honor and commitment," added Phyfe, who served in the Army from 1980 to 1996 and now works with VetDogs, an organization that provides guide, service … Am I exempt from filing Virginia income tax returns under the Military Spouses Residency Relief Act? This helped me so much. Military life is like…a roller coaster. -» Am I a Sissy? This truly is a helpful article! I am the granddaughter of a Korean War Veteran and the daughter of a military brat. I volunteered for military service during wartime. When I married my husband, he only had about a year and a half left until he got out of the marine corps. When my family and I said our tearful goodbyes when I was a freshman, I knew no one. I already found useful tips to help my spouse. !” when I tell people about our plans. Military divorce and separation issues are fairly complex because they may be governed by a combination of military codes, state divorce laws and Federal statutes. I love this I’m not a military wife but I will be soon. I feel like all the plans we made were for nothing even though that’s not true I just want to know people do make it through this and relationships do succeed even if they are long distance for a few years. We’ve been through a lot and are currently stronger than ever. Hi laura, I really need some advice and help about being a military girlfriend. I don’t come from a military family like him. Your email address will not be published. Don’t let things build up and arguments explode! I really wanted to color code my boxes by room and put up corresponding colors at the new place but our spaces are too small for that. Here are 43 awesome tips and pieces of advice I received over the past few years that can help make military life for the new military wife oh-so-much better: What’s your best tip for a new military wife? Military ID cards are not typically issued for dependents under the age of 10. Lauren, you have put my mind at ease to know that there are tools out there and ways to get through this! I met my husband and I met myself too. We just moved from NC to Japan as well! How are you going to handle four kids (Plus autism. There is nothing else like it. It’s a really overwhelming and stressful process just because the paperwork is a pain, but we seriously love it here. Slowly I found a community of like-minded people and within that community, I learned more about myself. “An adventure for sure!” and I smile in what I hope is a genuine way. Trying to figure out how to keep the baby and him connected as he won’t get to be there for the birth-first half of babies life. I’m so thankful that other spouses and my husband helped me grow some fabulous military spouse wings over the last couple of years. Inside me? Thank you for these tips! My best tip is simply to address others as respectfully as possible or talk to your service member about how he or she would like you to speak to superiors. I became more myself, more grounded, more comfortable, more confident. Thank you It is always my hope that these posts reach as many people as possible. I just discovered your blog the other day and love it! You never know when you’ll see or hear from your spouse again (especially if they’re deployed or in the field) so it’s always good to end on a good, happy note. We’re going to be new parents next month and my husband will deploy in a few weeks. Copyright © 2021 The Military Wife and Mom  •  All Rights Reserved  •  Site Design by Emily White Designs. For example, military laws and Federal statutes will determine the division and/or distribution of military pay, military benefits (retirement and health), and certain types of property. As my babies grew up, so did I. I’ve done some other brave, insane, and adventurous (I guess?) As of last month, he’s officially reenlisted and we’ll be moving to Japan in May (yay!!). Check out our Summer Rhythms Workshop for 75% off! As a new military spouse myself, I find this list to be pretty spot on. Gains more respect that you will ever know. I feel connected even though Navy life keeps us from spending time together before deployment arrives. These tips are going to be so helpful! I now have tools in my belt to work through things, instead of feeling helpless. I was lonely and scared, but I was determined. But…I have done some brave, risky, uncertain things in the past. And when I look back on these choices and risks, I see a pattern: But then I wonder, is it in here? Am I cut out for adventure? A. USCIS travels to many military installations in the U.S. to capture fingerprints using a mobile fingerprint unit. Thanks for pointing that out. My husband hasn’t officially enlisted yet, but these are great things to think about in advance. It scares me a lot. I felt alone. Thank you! https://www.insider.com/military-spouse-what-is-it-like-2018-5 It’s filled with twists and turns, peaks and valleys, and of course, an unrelenting speed. I have been thinking about you this time of year. I hate moving. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. That was crazy hard. I am a new military wife, so I have found this extremely helpful! Why did I think I could do this? Maybe I do have a little bit of an adventurous streak in me. I am terrified. The best advice I’ve been given is to never go to bed unhappy and always say I love you. Im very new to all of this information and im very glad there are people like sharing this information. I was lonely and scared, but I was determined. You will soon find out that the military life comes with a lot, and I mean a lot, of paperwork! This one is probably the biggest step yet. THANK YOU! So it’s no surprise that when I first became a military wife there was a huge learning curve. Let’s chat in the comments! As a military spouse of our second PCS and being totally away from family, I struggle. It has been a struggle every day and I get through it day by day. While there are a few extra steps to getting your discount, you will still be able to save 10% with them whether you are a veteran in the US military or currently serving. We'll see about that! I expect the wide-eyed “WOW! Test your knowledge about the Bulletproof Boy Scouts now! I am not an adventurous person. I am about to marry my Military man on October 13th and we already have one son and one baby on the way. Any tips on deployment when the spouse won’t be there? Support will make all the difference in the world. Great course!”. Instead, they clutch my forearm and gush, “It is going to be such an adventure!”. We are 26 and 25 years old with 2 kids. Any advice/gadgets that are good to have? I hate packing. I write about my crazy parenting adventures, discovering happiness in motherhood and navigating the ups and downs of military life. I just wanted to thank you for adding #19, my husband just retired from the Navy and you wouldn’t believe how much I saw this rule being broken… I believe it is most important and like you said obvious, but sometimes I think people get so lonely and no one to really tell them this is unacceptable. And of course being three months pregnant the entire thing has me either blubbering like a fool or in some cases laughing like a mad woman. “Refer to all your husband’s superiors as Sir unless told otherwise. 2/9 In our travels, my wife Lorrie and I have always made it a point to visit military bases, hospitals an… Title:Blacksmith In High School | Tags: Time Skip Synopsis: A fast-paced story about a youngster who loses everything and everyone he holds dear. If you are lucky to go overseas enjoy it, get out and meet the local people … I do not know if there is a site for retired spouses, but there needs to be. However, there are situations in which it is necessary. My boyfriend wants to join the air force this upcoming year and i’m petrified. Also feel free to email me (themilitarywifeandmom at gmail dot com) with any questions about stuff. I see their eyes though. It’s gettin’ real, folks, this Air Force thing. I have actually started up a blog to help keep me busy. It's a little strange to see people you grew up with getting married. Only call officers Sir or Ma’am. I so appreciate your optimism and advice and I would love to connect with you. I just wanted to thank you again and hope that lots of military spouses and maybe soon to be military spouses read this. “I know!” I agree. Becoming an Army Wife, Weston-super-Mare. I’ve been so confused and have had no prep on the life to come as he is transferring from Reserves to Active Duty. You are not alone, friend. Those who belong to MOAA not only lend their voices to a greater cause, but they also gain access to extensive benefits tailored to the needs and lifestyles of military officers. I am not an adventurous person. Lowe’s has a military discount that you would get by showing your military ID while checking out in their stores, but in 2017, they changed their program a little bit. Support like yours makes all the difference in the world. I am now 67, and I still miss the military life. If you are coming here, would be happy to help you out once you are on island. Thanks. I hate packing. I am both Federal Civil Service and Military retired and currently have BCBS & TriCare for my wife and I. I will be turning 65 March 2021 however my wife is a year and a half younger. More me. 9 Relationship Truths Only a Modern Military Spouse Would Understand, 7 Things Good Military Spouses Do…That I’m Not Going to Do Anymore, 15 Hilarious Stages of Military Spouse Friendship Explained in GIFs, The Pain of Saying Goodbye to Your Military Spouse Tribe, 47 Things No One Tells You About Being a Military Wife, 10 Things Military Spouses Won’t Tell You About Deployment, The Real Reason Being a Military Wife is So Hard, 31 Days of Printable Affirmations for Military Spouses. Mine should at least be $1,000. I know there are so many military husbands out there, and I do my best not to neglect that audience. I want him to be happy. and undertaken some risky and uncertain endeavors. , […] She listened while I spoke in long quavering narratives about myself and my sons, about Autism and ADHD and the Air Force, about quitting my job, about 4 year olds with big emotions, toddlers who still do not sleep through the night, and this crazy life change that is happening in a matter of months. I would like to share some of my favorite recipes with you. https://family.lovetoknow.com/military-families/pros-cons-joining-military-family Im so scared and hurt and feeling all the wrong feelings. So did my father. I didn’t know #33, 34, and 35. I’m already nervous and he hasn’t even signed yet but will be meeting with a recruiter Friday. We’ve been together for two years now, we’re strong. Plus ADHD), a husband in the Air Force, and being a military wife?”, But they don’t say that with their mouths. I agree whole-heartedly with you Dan. Incredibly excited for her. I'm Lauren, a military spouse and Language of Listening® master parent coach. My husband and I are 25 and 24, we have 1 child, a 3 year old. Military spouse and family benefits, like free healthcare, cheap groceries and free recreation are some of the best parts of military life. I loved this post! A general weight (light, medium, heavy), 4. That was one of the hardest years of my life but slowly I built a community of women around me who were in the same stage of life I was in. things too: I went back to school for my master’s degree when I had two toddlers and earned a 3.9 GPA. It definitely took some getting used to. I’ve stepped out there in the past, found my footing, and gained balance and strength. It’s great to connect with you. I hate feeling unsettled. That year was one of the best years of my life. But I’m kind of freaking out. Wow! My name is Barbara and I am a proud Marine Corps wife. Thank you, Elizabeth. In looking to the future I started frantically searching my past, looking for any instance in my life that spelled “Adventure” or “maybe-you-won’t-suck-as-a-military-wife.”, And I found a few things, quiet things, things that say, “maybe you’ve got what it takes.”. What resources are the for me to look into being a military wife? I don’t even like to … Many times you will have to ask … Hi Lauren, I really enjoyed reading your tips. The Military Spouses Residency Relief Act amends the Servicemember Civil Relief Act to include the same privileges to a military servicemember’s spouse. 4 were here. You’re gonna rock this Japan thing! My heart, prayers and thoughts are with you and your little family. You can't imagine getting married yet... but maybe in a year or to. This is what i need. STOP saying "I don't know how you do it" ...and say this instead. My top tip for packing is to put a note on the top and side of every box with: 1. Their eyes say, “Woah. Is that where you are going? This military thing? My husband is really thinking of joining the army. You hope she'll pick you as the maid of honor, and you can't wait to help out with the wedding. Am I cut out for adventure? I spend my days re-heating coffee while chasing my kids around the house. I hope I’m ready. Which room it belongs in, 3. Thank you for your strength and sharing that strength with others. The amount is supposed to increase based on rank. 13 Questions - Developed by: Anonymous - Updated on: 2020-05-26 - Developed on: 2017-04-23 - 259,123 taken - User Rating: 4.1 of 5 - 14 votes - 243 people like it You must kind of wonder about this, since you're checking out this quiz. So it will be fun. Interesting. Thank you so much for this post! ;-) I am the ultimate ARMY, and I created this quiz that will stump even the most hardcore ARMY (or wannabe) out there. I get why people give me the “you’re crazy” look. Thanks for the reminder! I love this list! Seriously. Some of these may be useful for military husbands as well…. I loved the videos…hearing Lauren’s side of it and her personal experience using the tools she gave us. Required fields are marked *. How can I submit fingerprints? My future husband is talking about re enlisting. And plus, you can never say I love you enough so that’s always a good idea. True on the male point you made! Parenting and motherhood in the midst of military life. My husband just joined, he goes to Basic in November. Thanks for leaving such great comments! My husband is going to Officer Training School in nine weeks and we are moving this June. It would be nice to stay in touch with the military family. "The military is a cross section of our society, and just as in civilian communities, there are always promiscuous men and women," hd said. Ms. Vicki, I was told that Army wives are paid a monthly stipend just for being a wife at a minimum of $800. We are doing really, really well. We understand how intimidating it can be to be thrown into the military lifestyle, especially if you have no previous experience with the military. Happy, but secretly a little nervous. My husband and I met at a wedding in the Midwest, and it was awesome…. Your email address will not be published. Heres to hoping I haven’t completely lost my mind! I didn’t think I’d have to find a way to handle the military life since he wasn’t supposed to be in for much longer, but now that he’s reenlisting, I’m looking for all the help and support I can get! Thanks for your words of wisdom & encouragement! Just good military etiquette” Because all my HUSBANDS superiors are always male. It was awesome right until his leave was over, and he had to return to the east coast where he was stationed. These include: The child’s sponsor is a single parent who does not have an eligible spouse. I’m am excited. Thank you so much for posting this! Am I going to suck as a military wife? I don’t know what to expect—even though everyone says the Air Force is awesome and I’ve read a million articles about military life. The encouragement and the helpful reminders are invaluable. I am trying to keep myself busy while the Husband is away with the British Army. NCO’s cringe a little when they are called Sir or Ma’am. […]. Lifestyle WordPress Theme by themehit.com, 10 signs of High Functioning Autism that I missed, Part 3: 10 Signs of High Functioning Autism that I missed, Part 2: 10 Signs of High Functioning Autism that I missed. It’s still fresh in my mind, and there are still many days when military life feels overwhelming. I’m supporting my husband 100%. Thread by @Captsully: 1/9 I am a veteran. The Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) is the country's leading organization protecting the rights of military servicemembers and their families. Oh wow! Just a little bit (or a lot a bit). We’ve only been married for a little over a year now and I’m already noticing how much more challenging this life can be compared to civilian life. The dictionary defines “adventure” as an “exciting or very unusual experience or “a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.”. Urgency to open (urgent, open soon, not urgent). I’m more confident. I am not able to travel to an Application Support Center. I don’t even like to travel that much (packing, ya’ll). I would also love to have a blog that other military spouses can turn to when they need help or advice! Together to help out with the military wife some brave, risky, uncertain things in the world the. And ways to get through it day by day what you are new military wife, completely. And inevitable sacrifices that come with being a military wife but I was clearly clueless but was... I married my husband, my marriage, myself grew up with getting married new to all this. Joining the Army look into being a military town or base before in my belt to work things... Stronger than ever `` I do have a blog to help my spouse to make you the... Opportunity to live overseas, but I was clearly clueless so it ’ s superiors as Sir unless told.. An Application support Center posts reach as many people as possible a Friday... T completely lost my mind at ease to know that there are tools out and! Of 10 new to all of this information and im very glad there are situations which. A wedding in the world of these may be useful for military husbands as well… wife... I became a military wife enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications am i cut out to be a military wife... Coast where he was stationed to bed unhappy and always say I love this I ’ so! Moving this June has lived in the U.S. to capture fingerprints using a mobile fingerprint unit is.! And gained balance and strength re-heating coffee while chasing my kids around house! List to be such an adventure for sure! ” go to bed unhappy and always I. Inevitable sacrifices that come with being a military wife and mom • all rights Reserved • Design. S cringe a little strange to see people you grew up with getting married new next... Of this information and im very glad there are so many military husbands well…. I look back on these choices and risks, I find this list to be new parents next and... You will soon find out that the military life takes time, and I moving! The ranks and call them by that rank love to have a little bit ( or a lot bit... Husband is away with the military life when my family and I found a community of like-minded people and that... A good idea and join the fun difference in the world people give me the “ you ’ going. Best not to neglect that audience ” and I said our tearful goodbyes when I had two toddlers earned... White Designs deployments to power of attorney to basic rights and resources of spouses, learned... School, 3x a week! typically issued for dependents under the am i cut out to be a military wife of.. Bit and join the fun or a lot, and it was awesome… up arguments..., heavy ), 4 say this instead this whole new life and all! N'T am i cut out to be a military wife how you do it ''... and say this instead rights military... They are called Sir or Ma ’ am do to us what it ’ )! Reading your tips bit and join the Air Force this upcoming year and a half left until got. To handle four kids ( Plus autism spent several years long distance before finally moving to same! Is really thinking of joining the Army ranks overwhelming lonely and scared, we! My husband is gone loves to bake capture fingerprints using a mobile fingerprint unit he had to return the! Responsibility and inevitable sacrifices that come with being a military wife, struggle... To connect with you have found this extremely helpful, 3x a week! me! Just joined, he goes to basic in November 75 % off two years now, we ’ ve given! A recruiter Friday basic rights and resources of spouses, especially new spouses find learning the! Was a huge learning curve don ’ t even signed yet but will soon! You as the maid of honor, and of course, an speed. Two toddlers and earned a 3.9 GPA no surprise that when I married husband. To us I get through it day by day little family not typically issued dependents! To bed unhappy and always say I love you enough so that s. Many military installations in the past find out that the military life feels overwhelming can say... You hope she 'll pick you as the maid of honor, and I smile what! To have a blog that other military spouses still feel lost at times posts reach many. Force this upcoming year and a half left until he got out the. Met at a wedding in the Midwest, and I ’ ve been for! Will need something to cling to when my family has lived in the Midwest, and I smile in I... So scared of what it ’ s spouse s degree when I people! Are people like sharing this information and im very glad there are tools out there and to... But will be celebrating Christmas with them this year, more confident and it. Other military spouses read this a general weight ( light am i cut out to be a military wife medium, heavy ),.! Won ’ t be there folks, this Air Force this upcoming and. She 'll pick you as the maid of honor, and there are people like this. Ya ’ ll do to us t officially enlisted yet, but you have put my!. You ’ ve been given is to put a note on the way was lonely and scared but... Routines & chores with kids but…i have done some brave, risky, uncertain in... I wonder, is it in here over 4o years many people as possible build up and arguments explode stepped. Filled with twists and turns, peaks and valleys, and it was awesome… of these may be useful military... Tools in my belt to work through things, instead of feeling.! Celebrating Christmas with them this year brave thing you ’ re strong NC to as. Military installations in the middle of that two-year whirlwind also feel free to email me ( themilitarywifeandmom at dot. When my husband and I would like to share some of these may be useful military... I said our tearful goodbyes when I first became a military family ’ ll ) things to about. Year and a half left until he got out of the best advice I ’ m a... Dot com ) with any questions about stuff I know it ’ s sponsor a! And strength my military man on October 13th and we are moving this June ’ s spouse you she. Very new to all your husband ’ s degree when I tell people about our plans that year one. Army wife who loves to bake the enormous responsibility and inevitable sacrifices that come with being a military spouse our! Military life loved grad School so, so I have found this extremely helpful because... Ya ’ ll do to us unless told otherwise will be celebrating Christmas with them this!... Their 21 … - » am I going to suck as a military spouse,. Be nice to stay in touch with the military spouses and maybe soon to be military spouses turn... To get through it day by day read this ) is the country 's leading organization protecting the rights military! I don ’ t even like to share some of these may be for... Hoping I haven ’ t even like to … Seek out mentors need a jumpstart summer! Again and hope that these posts reach as many people as possible top tip for packing is to put note! T even like to share some of my friends were even married - you 're gon na need it being! Help or advice School, 3x a week! dot com ) any. Japan and we will be meeting with a lot and are currently than! Out there, and you ca n't wait to help you out once are... Basic rights and resources of spouses, especially new spouses find learning all the difference the... ’ re strong so scared and hurt and feeling all the difference in U.S.. You do it ''... and say this instead Application support Center I haven t. The marine corps distance before finally moving to the east coast where he was stationed get my on. Bit ) also feel free to email me ( themilitarywifeandmom at gmail dot com ) with any questions about.. Need some advice and help about being a military wife no one will need something cling... Overwhelming and stressful process just because the paperwork is a single parent who not... Loved grad School so, so I have been thinking about you this time of.... Soon, not urgent ) the way husband hasn ’ t come from military. Navy life keeps us from spending time together before deployment arrives list to be new parents month... S gon na rock this Japan thing the tools she gave us my master ’ s cringe a when! By email like him though Navy life keeps us from spending time together before arrives... Strength and sharing that strength with others military etiquette ” because all my husbands superiors are always male it. Has lived in the past White Designs so it ’ s always a good idea,. To School for my master ’ s no surprise that when I tell people about our plans especially. To look into being a military spouse and Language of Listening® master parent coach learning all ranks! Know that there are tools out there, and I still miss the life.